People, Places, and Things…Oh My!

Alcoholics and addicts relapse all the time. We hear about it in meetings, and we hear about it by word of mouth whether it be via small town gossip or the media (in relation to people in the public eye). We learned all about “triggers” in rehab. For those of you who may not be familiar with this term as it is used in relation to addiction, I will break it down simply. A trigger is anything that creates thoughts in someone to turn or return to the use of a substance. The return to using is known as a relapse.

A very simple example of this is how you see the little shooter bottles of booze at almost every gas station counter across the country. As my friend in AA said once, “It’s like they are calling my name while I am waiting in line to pay for gas. Hey, old friend. Hey, buddy…just one won’t hurt. Don’t you miss me?” In not so many words, that’s what he said. And we all chuckled because we could all relate. And while it sounds so silly to someone without a drinking problem, it’s a real hard truth for us who cannot control our drinking.

For someone who doesn’t have a problem with alcohol, I always use the caffeine or the food analogy. Take the same situation and picture yourself just starting a diet–cutting out sugar, for example. Standing in line, are those freshly baked donuts calling out to you? Or that large fountain soda with all its delicious crunchy good ice (you know the kind I am talking about!)

So, it boils down to people, places, and things for those with a substance abuse problem. Let me tell you what this may look like:

People: People can absolutely, 1000% be triggers. People you drank or used your DOC (drug of choice) with. People who hurt you. People you hurt. People who betrayed you. People you betrayed. People who you may perceive as being judgmental of you (whether true or false, or whether it stems from the past or present). All these people can cause a real reaction in someone in recovery. A real scary reaction. In my experience, I have had almost nothing but for-real, serious, genuine, kick-ass cheerleaders on my side in my sobriety. Thank you:) The rest of you can kind of just get lost, to be quite brutally honest.

Places: Bars, duh. That’s obvious. Drug houses. Double duh. But other places can be triggers as well. Ever drink when you go fishing or boating? I just raised my hand. Guilty. Ever drink at a social gathering where NOT drinking is totally acceptable but you chose to drink regardless? Yep. If I am being honest here, I can easily count the places I didn’t consider drinking acceptable on one hand. When you are a drunk to put it harshly, people who are not drinking are the weird ones. Weird, huh? Yes, that’s the way addicts think.

Things: Wowza, this can be holidays, events, feelings (yikes), patterns or routines, activities…lots of stuff. Feelings is a biggie. Sad? Drink. Happy? Drink. Confused? Drink (should definitely help cure confusion, right? lol). Same with addicts. Birthday party? Use your DOC. Funeral? Use. Lonely? Use. Holidays–need I even explain this one? Seriously. Activities are a fun one. Ever golf or fish without a beer in hand? Maybe. If you are a normal person. Ever hike or go for a long run without a margarita afterward? Probably if you aren’t me.

We have this idea (addict or not, alcoholic or not) that when we do certain things or surround ourselves with certain people, drinking or using your DOC is just a given. For most people, this is a non-issue. For people with a past history of addiction, they are called triggers and can pose a real issue. A relapse is a BFD. (Big _______ Deal). I will let you fill in the blank.

I can honestly say I don’t feel triggered by anyone or anything at this moment in time. I am so grateful for that. I have zero desire to ever take another drink. But that is subject to change. I don’t even want to consider situations that could arise that would possibly threaten that gift. And that’s really what sobriety has been, a gift. For those of you who have never experienced the chains of addiction, I really am so very genuinely happy for you. It’s a terrible thing I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. Not even my ex-ass-crack of a boss. (Yes, very un-Christian-like of me, but if you ever cross his path, you will fully agree with me:) Plus, I said I wouldn’t wish the horrible ugliness of addiction upon him, so, there, I am still an awesome person.

Even if you don’t struggle with addiction, don’t let people trigger you. Don’t let someone have power over you. Whether it be making you feel incompetent or less attractive or smart or whatever the case may be. Triggers can cause real anxiety and depression and sadness and all that hurtful stuff. If a person, place or thing makes you feel less than the awesome person you are, disconnect from it/them. Keep a safe distance. Don’t answer their phone calls. Don’t walk through doors of places (physical or mental) that are not welcoming and good for your mental health.

Don’t let people, places, and things–OH MY! become more obstacles on your journey to becoming the best version of you.