Being a Dry Drunk (Yes, this is a thing)

I had never heard this term before AA, and I never really gave it much thought. But yesterday I had a bad day. Let me stop your mind before it conjures up anything overly scandalous. A bad day as in I was simply in a funk for lack of a better word. No, I didn’t drink. No, I didn’t want to drink. No, I didn’t have any terrible thoughts aside from just feeling “meh”.

Nothing happened yesterday. As in, no one in my family got hurt or the dishwasher didn’t overflow, or the dog didn’t poop anywhere he shouldn’t. It was a normal day, nothing to complain about outside the realm of normal life stuff.

So, around noon or so, I just sat down and cried. Why? I don’t know. Did I feel silly? Eh, maybe a little. I am not a crier so to speak, and it wasn’t all sobbing and snot bubbles and animals scurrying away from the room in fear of my wailing or anything dramatic like that. I just felt weird. And that’s such a broad term to explain how I felt, but I don’t have another, better word to use.

Weird as in I was calm but just not feeling at peace. So, Lindsey’s mind (the old alcoholic-ey version) did what it does and decided to check on every family member to make sure they were okay, in making sure I wasn’t clairvoyant and that someone had ended up in a car accident or something crazy. As of now, everyone is still present and accounted for and intact and all that good stuff.

But I got to thinking about one of my first AA meetings and someone mentioning the term “dry drunk” or “sober drunk”.

In recovery circles, the term dry drunk describes someone who has stopped drinking alcohol but still clings to the attitudes, mindset, and behaviors they had during active addiction. While they may appear sober on the outside, emotionally and mentally they remain stuck in the same destructive patterns that defined their alcohol addiction. This phenomenon is often described as being “sober in body, but not in mind or spirit.” — I borrowed this from What Is A Dry Drunk & How To Avoid Dry Drunk Syndrome

Bingo! Just because we quit our DOC (drug of choice) doesn’t mean some of that old thinking and mindset can’t creep up on us. That is the main reason (for me, at least) that I need to remain active in AA and in my recovery and in talking with my sponsor. Just because I no longer drink, that doesn’t magically sweep away all my old thinking and crazy thought processes.

So even if you are not someone who struggles with addiction on any level, I think you have probably fallen into some of this same thinking and mindset at some point. Worrying endlessly about things you cannot control. Obsessing over whatever (a new purchase of a home or car, your noisy neighbor, the pile of laundry no one wants to deal with, bills, all the things we all deal with) can become a type of dry drunk state of mind for anyone.

I don’t have an answer as usual, but I know I do feel better after I pray. Usually, a nap or a walk helps as well. Or a combo-pack of all three! I felt like sharing this because my guess if you are a human, you have days like I had yesterday. The ‘meh’ day. Not good, not bad, just ‘meh’. And that’s ok. Don’t linger there longer than you have to–no one likes a lingerer;) Go for a walk, talk to someone, figure out why you’re feeling what you’re feeling (if possible), pray, maybe nap or smell a baby (don’t act like I am a weirdo–you know exactly what I mean). Do something to make your day less ‘meh’ today!