Old Dog Teaching Old Tricks
If you haven’t lived it, you know someone who has. The father-son relationship as it relates to sports. Oh boy. What a fine line we tread when offering unwarranted advice to our children.
My son has taken up track and has done quite well thus far. My husband, his father, was an excellent track runner. 25 years ago. Here in lies the problem. Our 13-year-old sometimes sees us as dinosaurs. Advice is outdated and sometimes unwanted. From his perspective, he may even envision his dad being chased by actual dinosaurs as we are now considered ancient as we reside here in our 40s.
As a mother in the crazy mix of teenage sports, I sometimes struggle with finding my place. When my advice is needed or even relevant. I am a self-proclaimed non-competitive parent. Of course, I want my kids to succeed in all they do. But I am a far cry from the crazed chest-painting, cowbell wielding, screaming-until-I-am-blue-in-the-face parents. No disrespect to those who are. I find you to be very passionate for most of the right reasons.
Watching my husband give my son advice, whether it be in baseball or basketball or track or in folding and putting away his clothes, always gives way to humor. And these days, we can all use a little bit of that in our lives. I often sit back and watch it play out trying to hide my eyerolls and the tiny smirk from the corner of my mouth just begging to let loose into a full-on belly-laugh.
I am grateful to have a spouse who loves his kids whole-heartedly and wants to see them do their best. As a mom with little athletic experience of her own, I am more concerned with what he ate prior to a race and if there are enough accessible bathrooms if the need were to arise. Mom stuff. Did you double knot your shoes? Did you remember your allergy pill this morning? All the little annoying things I find important, and my son tolerates pretty well.
My husband is a kind soul as is my son. But sometimes when it comes to sports advice—both the giving and the receiving, the gloves come off. Not in a confrontational manner but in what I find a humorous one. Do you know how many times I have heard Eli say, “Son, listen to me. This is something I know about.” And if Crosby had one of those little thought bubbles bobbing over his head like we see in cartoons, it would probably say something to the effect of, “Here we go again. Dad and his days of glory story.”
And I just watch it unfold. I find it heart warming to be quite honest. We didn’t like taking advice from our parents back in our day, so I don’t know why we think that has changed with our own children of today. But here we are.
It’s as if our kids think the world of sports has changed so dramatically. While there have definitely been some improvements (always up for debate depending on your age and experience) things haven’t changed all that much. With advances in gear such as shoes and protective gear, sports are still sports. In traditional track events, particularly, it still requires strength and endurance and usually feet. Other than that, has much dramatically changed?
The great desire to see your child excel hasn’t changed. The inherent need for parents to coach from the sidelines hasn’t changed. I am sure the headaches for coaches, umps, and referees haven’t become less painful.
It’s s story as old as our youth now view us elders. Parents wanting to see their children be victorious. Even if they see us as reliving our childhood dreams through their accomplishments. I see nothing wrong with that. Age gives way to old knees, extra fluff around the middle, and all the tiny annoyances that comes along with the gift of getting older. We get to live to see our children’s hard work and dedication pay off. And no, when they roll their eyes at our advice, they won’t stay that way. Not like our own parents so adamantly insisted they would.
Youth in sports is exciting. It’s rewarding. The wins, the losses, the life lessons. And having a parent as a tutor of sorts along the way is something to treasure. It may take years for our own children to recognize this, but it will most likely come around full circle. In the meantime, while I am waiting impatiently for my own children to recognize the value in having parents involved in their sports, I find a lot to laugh about in the complex interactions between my son in his puppy years and his old dog of a dad (as he sees it).
They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. But that old dog can most definitely teach the young pup a few things if he can temporarily remove the air pods and attitude and take time to listen.
*Originally featured in Southern Illinois Sports Connection 04/2025